Another Victory

"Why do you have to fight with me over everything?" Doug asked his wife.  "Why do you have to contradict me?"

"I don't fight with you all the time," Monique replied.  "And I don't contradict you."

"Well you are driving me crazy.  You sure know how to push my buttons!"

Monique continued polishing her lengthy nails a lovely shade of jade green.  "I do nothing.  You push your own buttons.  You drive yourself crazy."

"Oh....never mind.  I have a really bad headache," Doug mumbled.

"You mean you choose to have a really bad headache."  Monique smiled sweetly.  Picking up a copy of Therapy Today she fanned the hand with damp fingernails.

When Doug left the bedroom for the night she gave a happy sigh.  One more victory.

Paranoid

The psychologist looked at the 40-something couple who kept casting meaningful glances at each other.  "So, why are you here?  Marriage problems?"

The woman's eyes met his for once.  "It's my husband.  Tell him, honey."

The husband rubbed his hands together. "My wife thinks that I'm paranoid."

"And what do you think?"  The therapist tapped his ballpoint against his teeth.

"I don't know.  Sometimes I honestly wonder....My wife is a very friendly, outgoing woman.  It's natural for her to have a lot of friends.  But something about a few of these guy pals makes me....suspicious."

Nodding, the therapist made a note or two in his little book.

"He wears me out.  Somehow he doesn't even say anything.  I know he is unreasonably jealous of my friendships with other men."

The therapist made throaty grunting sounds and jotted more down.

"It seems to me that you could both use some one-on-one therapy.  Here's my card.  I'll see you at 2 and 3 pm next Wednesday."

Along with the little card he slipped the woman a note.

Dearest,

We have a way of meeting at last!  Not even your bear of a husband will suspect.